Funny Stuff

  • Maria joined the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 4 months ago

  • Paul Sadek posted an update in the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 4 months ago

    A priest, a Lutheran minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this? A joke?”

  • Miriam Worden posted an update in the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 8 months ago

  • Jean posted an update in the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 1 year ago

  • Robert H Patrick posted an update in the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 1 year, 1 month ago

    I see…” said the blind man. “I saw…” said the carpenter.

    A bull frog went into the bank and asked the teller for a loan, but all he had for collateral was a ceramic elephant. Unsure of what to do, the teller asked his boss Mr. Paddywag. Mr. Padywag didn’t know what to do either so he asked his boss Mr. Pooler. Mr. Pooler heard the situation and immediately knew what to do. He said: It’s a nick-nack Paddywag, give the frog a loan.

    A good pun is it’s own reword.

    A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ‘But why?’, they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.’

    A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book. The other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

    A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” “Hang on a sec,” replied the doctor,…[Read more]

  • Robert H Patrick posted an update in the group Group logo of Funny StuffFunny Stuff 1 year, 2 months ago

    Puns and Other Groaners

    The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

    A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

    A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.”

    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

    A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a…[Read more]

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